Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i think my cat just said my name.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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