hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize