I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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