if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
