I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
