return my video game
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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