at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
