I've blown a few things in my day
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
