why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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