I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
