I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
