Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
