Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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