Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
