problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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