the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love having hate sex.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
