How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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