I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
