Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
