Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
