What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
