Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize