He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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