Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
