i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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