Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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