I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
