I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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