ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
