We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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