I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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