She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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