I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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