"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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