But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
