she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
