so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
