Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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