Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
