We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
