Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
