Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she peed on how many people?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
