I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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