Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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