True but thats because hes a fetus.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
