so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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