Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
