I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
