I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
3pm strippers are depressing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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