Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
