i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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