he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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