so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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