Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
