i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
