My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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