So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
