omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
