bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
