Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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