Come see our sink grown plant.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
